Ah, New Year’s resolutions.
Like the Mummers, it’s a mindless tradition where we try to convince ourselves that we will “be better” during the calendar year. Something like 7% of the people actually go through with their resolutions, the rest of us, we just “screw it” and forget about the gym by February 1.
It’s only fair to create New Year’s resolutions for the four major Philadelphia sports teams. What’s serious and what’s just for fun…that’s for you to decide.
Let’s get started!
Howie Roseman Vows Not to Trade the Birds’ 1st Round Picks and Will Use All of Them
In a break from character, Eagles GM Howie Roseman goes on the record that he will not trade anyone the Birds’ three first round picks. He tells the media that he will use all of them to build the team. Owner Jeffery Lurie and head coach Nick Sirianni aren’t sold and decide to lock Roseman in the broom closet during the draft.
Eagles Commit to Jalen Hurts as the Longterm QB1
I’ve been saying for a while that Jalen Hurts reminds me a lot of a young Donovan McNabb. And I mean that in a good way. Many people forget the special plays that Five made early in his career and focus on the yacking in Super Bowl XXXIX and his fights with TO.
Hurts shares a lot of the same playing qualities, good and bad, as Five but Hurts has coach willing to embrace his skill set. He also has the support of his teammates which is something that escaped Five throughout his career. If Hurts is McNabb than that’s a win for the Birds if they build around him.
Flyers Don’t Fire their Head Coach This Calendar Year
Say what?!? Yup, the Flyers will have the same head coach come December 31, 2022. Mike Yeo impresses the Comcast brass enough that they keep him on as the long-term coach.
Sixers Trade Ben Simmons
Daryl Morey will finally pull the trigger and trade Ben Simmons. Come on, did you really think this wasn’t going to be included here!?
Sixers Commit to Building Around Joel Embiid by Trading for a Star
Sensing that Joel Embiid’s “big man clock” is winding down, the Sixers go all in to get pieces to compliment Embiid and make a Finals run. Who is that piece? James Harden. Morey finally gets his guy.
The Phillies Add a Big Bat…or Two
The Phillies decide to bolster the lineup and spend that cigar money when MLB owners unlock the doors. Fightin’s sign third baseman Kris Bryant and left fielder Kyle Schwarber in an attempt to slug their way to the NL East title.